A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
A backwards poet writes inverse.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
3 comments:
My favorite "Practice safe eating -always use condiments" I repeated it to my teen son and he just looked at me like I was completley insane, but I laughed and laughed :)
Pavlov, grapes and your mother, are my favorites. All funny though.
Thanks Jeff, these gave me some much needed wry smiles! :)
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